Reviews

"From the very first sentence, everything around me just faded until all that was left was the book in my hand and the desperation of Chaya Amdur her terrified ten-year-old daughter Beilah and her sleeping 3-month-old baby, Feige. My heart was racing because it was obvious something unthinkable had happened. When they climbed out of the cellar what they found was horrific. They had lost their world. It was 1905 and they had to flee the pogrom that was sweeping through Ukraine. They gathered as much as they could, they had not been poor and left for America onboard a ship.

This incredible story continues through the generations until it concludes in 2012. One hundred and seven years of family tragedies and there were so many of them, the joys, the fallouts and the love. Chaya had changed their names when they arrived in America and they became Ida, Bessie and Fanny but tragedy was just waiting for them around the corner. For the second time tears blurred every word that I was reading.

Each chapter centres around one of the family members, either born into the family or married into it. In the front of the book is a family tree, which I found tremendously helpful to keep track of which line they were descending from. As in every family, each person is very different. Ruby is a colourful character that suffers from mental illness all of her life. I saw her through the eyes of others but also from inside her too.

Their stories took me from Brooklyn around the world. I laughed with them, cried so many times and saw some of them grow old, while others weren’t so lucky. Tragedies pulled them together and at times drove them apart. Religion was always there, stronger with some than with others. This is an outstanding story told with raw emotions. I didn’t want it to end but I loved how it ended.

Highly recommended. Unforgettable!! My top read of this year.

I wish to thank Andrea Thatcher of Smith Publicity for a copy of this book which I have reviewed honestly."

— Susan Hampson, Books from Dusk Till Dawn

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“Kraut writes an absorbing multigenerational family saga. The story begins in Russia and ends in New York City over a century later. Readers get acquainted with each generation"s family members and their trials and tribulations. I enjoyed reading this novel because the characters are so real and believable. Family dynamics are never easy and sometimes hurts and grudges do not fade with time. I was completely engrossed while reading, waiting to see what would happen next.”

— Janilyn Kocher, Educator and Netgalley Reviewer

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“Florence Reiss Kraut’s novel, How to Make a Life, is the saga of four generations of an immigrant family who begin by escaping the pogroms in Eastern Europe (in 1905) for a life in New York.

When that awful day started Chaya Amdur was a wife, and the mother of five children: a set of twin girls, a young boy, a toddler, Beiah, and her baby, precious Feige. In a matter of minutes, as Chaya ran for cover hiding below ground, The Russians slaughtered the rest of her family. When Chaya (and Beilah) saw their family dead, (Feige was too young to remember anything), that is when Chaya made the decision to go to New York. When they arrive Chaya becomes Ida, Beilah becomes Bessie and little Feige becomes Fanny. Life is not easy for Ida. They manage to find a small space to live (in the tenamants), Ida gets a job, and young Bessie lands up being responsible for Fanny ... At his point, which is extremely early in this sage of four generations of a family, I already could not put this book down.

Suffice it to say, that Bessie goes on to have five children, Ruby, Jenny, Irene, Morris and baby Faye, with her husband, Abe Weissman. The book continues on with their lives, and their children's lives; covering the gamut of the major events of the 50's. 60's (#Woodstock), 70's (Israel, Kibbutz, Yom Kippur War), 80's, 90's, and into the new millennium. This book is a trip through time with the Weissman family.

When the book ended I still wanted to read more. I loved Florence Reiss Kraut's writing style and I loved her incredible story! I am so thankful to have been given the opportunity to read this book by @netgalley and @shewritespress in return for my honest review. #5stars”

— Cheryl Sokoloff, Netgalley Reviewer

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I𝐧 𝐊𝐨𝐭𝐨𝐯𝐤𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐲𝐚 𝐀𝐦𝐝𝐮𝐫, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐤 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝, “𝐈𝐝𝐚. 𝐈𝐝𝐚 𝐀𝐦𝐝𝐮𝐫.” 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐅𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐲. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐰.

Ida Amdur is fleeing a pogrom in Ukraine with her two daughters, Beilah and Feige in 1905. They will be Americans now, but to do so means closing the door on the abominable horrors her family suffered. It is also an end to her prosperous life, her very identity. Names may change, but it is more than tickets for the ship and a few personal belongings they bring with them to their new life. The memories are sealed tight in her eldest child’s brain, haunting even her dreams and keeps the pain Ida suffered fresh in her mind. It is the youngest, the beautiful Feige, nay Fanny, with her delicate beauty and mind untainted by the past who is her shining hope, her angel. Ida, however, doesn’t have the gift of leisure to spend her days and nights with her girls, she must toil to put food on the table and a roof over their heads in this new country. It is Bessie who must be a little mother to Fanny, feeding her in the evening and putting her to bed while Ida works. Life is coming together again but not seamlessly, and fate isn’t done with them. No matter how much she sacrifices, it never seems to be enough. The only thing she knows is, she must never look back if she is to survive. Naturally, Bessie is the daughter who carries the past into the roots of the future through her own children and everyone who follows.

The roots are stronger for growing in the darkest of years but survival comes at a cost. Bessie knows better than anyone that there is no escaping your origins. Taking on guilt, regret, shame that she didn’t ask for but must carry seems to be passed down to her children just like genes, one must wonder, does trauma, life experience travel through the blood too? What about someone’s namesake, can it too carry sorrow, joy? How else to explain her own eldest Ruby’s strange spells? The things she knows without understanding? Bessie is doing her best for her mother Ida, her husband Abe and their five children (Ruby, Morris, Irene, Jenny and Faye) but she feels so much older than her years. No matter how vigilant she is, she knows how quickly things can turn to tragedy and Ruby seems to be a catalyst for danger. As the years pass, the children come of age and find themselves tied in the knots of their family.

There is love and resentment when responsibility falls heavy on the shoulders of certain children. Despite the silence of the past, the choices they make as they fall in love and attempt to build their own futures, drudge up memories of Kotovka, Ukraine and the brutal murder of their people. Memories that Ida and Bessie have kept locked away from the delicate ears of her American children. It is as if the past is a poison, one that can vanquish any person or thing they hold dear. Yet, what people refuse to remember will always come to the surface.

The dynamics between the siblings is evidence that it isn’t only Ida and Bessie who have sacrificed. So much is out of our hands, and when mental struggles engulf one sibling, it is an undertow that takes everyone with them. In being the rock, one sister has buried her own desires, and when they awaken she can’t seem to steer them in the right direction. Sins seem to echo through time.

Once inside Ruby’s mind the reader can’t help but feel the chaos in her head and Florence Reiss Kraut’s incredible mastery of writing characters whose every emotion flows within the reader makes you feel they are your own. Each character has struggles, grudges, needs, wants, connections, and shame, so much shame- deserved or not. Sometimes we burn everything down around us through no fault of our own. Ruby and Jenny’s tangled lives evoke the bond of sisterhood but it’s not all glory and grace, anyone with a sibling knows this too well. How much should it cost to be a good sister, brother, mother, husband, wife, daughter or grandchild? What do we owe our ancestors and must history keep taking a pound of flesh for every child born?

Ruby and Jenny aren’t the only siblings struggling with each other. When Ruby’s adult son Michael decides to better understand his Jewish identity, embracing his religion it too creates waves of dissension between her and his sister Abby. Can you navigate faith when way those around you live their lives against your beliefs? Do you cut them free?

It’s not all doom and gloom, every family has it’s free spirits. There is Woodstock and detours, cross-country travel, Spain, India, Israel, faith, college, marriage, divorces, children, careers, love affairs… all the joyful and disastrous events in any life. Naturally mistakes are made, some unforgivable that push the family apart, sometimes with good intentions and at other times born out of old hurts and jealousies. This was not a light read, it will break your heart and hang you out to dry but I was riveted. A heavy read for the fall. Yes, add it to your list!

— Kathleen Dandeneau, Amazon/Goodreads Reviewer